Sometimes doing nothing, is the best way to really feel what you want to do. Instead of doing, what you think you want to do. I feel anew. I feel renewinated. I feel all the fresh juices coming up inside my body. I don’t need to struggle to make things happen, it will come exactly when it need to come. I don’t have to worry about it. I don’t have to force myself into action. The action will come.

I’am so tired of doing. I’am tired of making plans. I’am tired of using my time the most productive way. I’am tired of struggling. I’am tired of thinking about the outcomes of what I do. I’am tired of thinking, and organizing and planning.

I want to do nothing.

I have been doing nothing for over a week now, beginning to wait for that bad consciousness about my laziness. Waiting on some inspiration to do something. But I don’t have any bad consciousness. I’am feeling great. I know inspiration for action will come, I just have to let it build up.

It came now. I just feel the urge writing about this doing nothing stage. Because while I have been just indulging myself in simpel activities. Like going to the beach. Laying on the floor. Making a green juice. Going out for a run. Sitting in the sofa, staring out in the empty air. Meditating. Moving things around.

I have had this feeling of a huge need for this silence. This state of not being productive.This feeling of not using my time, for an outcome. I’am by myself. Don’t need to be in company with anybody.

It’s seldom I have had this opportunity, not to be surrounded with friends and family. No one is expecting anything from me, besides my cat. Cat quality time. :-)Actually I becomes more and more like my cat. My cat ia always sleeping, relaxing, living in the now.

I have been practicing for some time now, in not being so hard on myself. Not plan so much, and doing things just for fun. Trying not to control. If I felt that my energy got heavy doing a certain activity, I have stopped the activity. Before I would just have continued, because I had set my mind about doing it. But I would have felt bored and drained afterwards.

What I have seen is that the more I follow my desires, and not feeling bad about them, the more I feel really good. Of course there are tasks that need to be done, but often you can do it in another way, which makes it more fun and easy.

Also, eventhough I don’t plan things, I feel that the outcome is even better than from anything I could have planned.

So that makes me more courageous about doing things the easy way. Not struggling, not fixing my mind on a specific goal. Staying open, and feeling where the energy is going for me. I tune in to my body, my feelings and ask what do I want to do right now? What would be the most fun thing? What would give me this aliveness?

Because when you do an activity from this place of inner aliveness, from a place of eagerness and energy and power, it’s just so rewarding. It don’t have to be a big thing, it can be a little task, a little action. It doesn’t really matter what you do, just that the action is clear and pure. When I do the right action, I can be thrilled the whole day for just having done this action, that felt so right.

So why not doing them all the time? Well, the thing is very often it can feel like there is some resistance. It can feel like you try to procrastinate it, that you are a little anxious of doing it.

You say to yourself, “I feel like doing this but it’s a little late now. I wait to do it tomorrow.” Or, you try to make excuses, saying “oh I don’t have time now. Oh, it a little stupid.”

I can come with an example. For a long time I had this urge to go out in the wood with my sculptures, taking some photos. I have been working with the color green for a while, and it felt right to surround the green with natural green. I had the urge of doing it for some time before I actually did it. Why was it so difficult? I really wanted to do it, but I had this resistance. Every day there was a new excuse. The weather was too bad, or the weather was too hot. The grass was too wet, or I felt some pain in my leg. One day I just very hastly put all the sculpture parts into my car. I planned to stop by a wood, on my way home from the studio. But, well I didn’t really feel for it, and I couldn’t decide on where to stop.

For some days the car was filled up with sculptures. I was going out of town to visit an artist friend. I knew I would stop by a wood, on my way home. I told her about my plans. She wanted to help me. “You can’t do this alone”? “You need someone to take the photos”, “Have you been thinking about how to fix the sculptures”? “Do yo have any robe”?She came up with a lot of advice, which made me feel a little drained. I just said “If I have to think about all theese factors, and have it all planned, it wouldn’t be fun. I knew in my heart, that to overcome the resistance I just had to do it. To wait till I had it all figured out, would have been another excuse for not doing it.

Actually this is another trigger, that the mind(ego), likes to set up. It wants control at all costs, and it want everything planned.

I found my wood on my way home, I played around for some hours. I ignored people sitting in their cars on the parking lot…The way they looked at me while I was dragging all my sculpture pieces out of the car. Or I thought they looked at me, properly they didn’t care less about me.

It’s weird, so many people sitting in their cars, on the parking lot of a wood? Why don’t they go out in the wood for a while? enjoying nature? Maybe they felt the same resistance as me?

I think we can feel a little shameful of doing theese joyful activities. Because very often they don’t have a specific productive outcome, or they might actually have, but our minds can not grasp this outcome. The mind doesn’t have a category for this activity. Yes, that’s it. You are going out of your categories, and because of that, you feel this resistance. Because the mind doesn’t like to go out in unknown areas, it doesn’t like if it can’t see a tangible result from the activity.

Most of us are not used to do fun things, we have learned to do things for the outcome. We have learned that to work is hard. And we say when I have done this, I will celebrate. Then I will have fun. But it’s difficult to have fun, if you really are feeling drained.

When you are doing an activity out of the gain of a specific result, you will be completely exhausted afterwards. Eventhough you got the result, you are not feeling good inside of you.( If you have not allowed yourself to be present in the process.)

People around you might compliment you on your result, and you will have this image of success. You think you are happy, but it isen’t real. Soon you will start to think about a new project, because to celebrate for too long makes you nervous. The emptiness sneaks up inside of you. You need to stay busy, to not feel this nagging emptiness.

When you do things, out of joy and passion while you are doing it, you don’t feel empty. You feel whole.

The reward are in the doing, the reward is an energy and a feeling of aliveness and everything is possible.

Because everything is. It just is.

You can ask, but what has all this to do with the creative process? Life and your creativity is intertwined. It’s going hand in hand. How you feel in your daily life, will influence your creativity. If you are not expressing yourself in your fullest capacity, expressing yourself honestly. The whole thing will be automatic, you will keep on repeating yourself. You will keep going in circles. You have to break free of your circles, break free of your habits and your self imposed limitations.

If you go about making art doing it in a rigid mindset, well that’s your choice. People might like it, because it feels safe.

It doesn’t shake them, it doesn’t go beyond the limits of some unsaid rule about what is art. You have to shake yourself, to shake others. You have to give from a place that’s real.

Here I will give you some tips on how to release your resistance of enjoying your moments.

Write a list of activities that would be just crazy fun.

How would it make you feel to do some of theese activities?

Choose one activity that you want the most. Could you do that activity today?

Write down any resistance you have about doing the activity.

What is this resistance about? Are you a little afraid?

Work on that resistance, have a dialog.

Write down all feelings you have thinking about doing and enjoying the activity.

Imagine yourself doing the activity, and having a lot of fun.

Try to get into that feeling of aliveness, and you will feel empowered.

Go do it, without thinking and controlling everything.

Hope you enjoyed this post, I did really enjoyed feeling this spark while I wrote.

Hope you are getting real out there, in life as in art. Hope you will act on your urges, everything is about how you feel. Don’t compromise on that.

Have a lovely day :-))

Hope you could use these tips.

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)