I have been wondering lately, about energy. Is it bad to change directions, to change your mind, to reset, to go in circles, to be in between, to start all over, to shift the focus.?

I have always learned that you have to stay persistent, you have to focus, you have to be determinded to reach your goals. I also learned, that it was bad to change your mind, to change direction too often, to start all over. Because then you are weak.

That’s what I have been told in childhood. Especially from my father…uhh it was very importent to have a strong will, to be a strong character. So I think I tried to be like this. I always had to know which way I was going, I had to have a plan. I had to show other people that I was so sure of what I was doing….but in the reality I was not. It was a fake. It was a front.

I did it so well, that I actually believed it myself. That I wanted to be persistent, goal orientated. Actually I was so afraid to loose the grip, that I had a very hard time changing my mind. I was so single minded. I worked really hard.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Sculpture experiment. 2019

I think I knew deep inside, that I was not this person, that I was more easy going and playfull. But I was afraid of the chaos, to get drawn in the big ocean of possibilities.

I think many of us, have learned this. We avoid the chaos of not going a straight way. Not having everything figured out. We always try to get things fixed. But everything is energy, and you just can’t fix it. Energy is moving all the time, aren’t we supposed to move as well? To go with the energy, to go where it feels easy and light. But how can we get anything done, if we don’t do what we have planned?

I have experienced, that you will get so much more done, if you go with the energy, go with the flow. It can look chaotic in the moment, and for some time, but I actually think you can expand in ways, that is impossible if you stay fixed. Or settle into some defintion of what you want, and then just take blinkers on. You can actually be stucked for years, in this way. Instead follow your feelings and nudgets, even though you don’t know where that road will lead you. If you just do things because you have set your mind on it, and feel the duty to stay with your intention, you will experience getting very heavy. It will be boring, and it will drain you instead of lifting you up.

Why use your time in that way? Why not lisen’t to that heaviness, and ask yourself what you will feel like doing instead? Maybe you just need a break, maybe a walk in the park would make you more inspired. Maybe it’s the place you are sitting in, maybe you need to shift location. Or you need to talk with somebody, or even sleep. You might be tired. Maybe the whole project is wrong. Maybe your relationship is wrong. Maybe you want to do something entirely different. Only you knows, nobody else, only you.

How easy can it be? Why struggle, and make it hard? If you follow that light energy, that place where you feel uplifted, then go in that direction. If you feel heavy and dragged down by something or someone, leave it. Go in another direction, and most importantly nurture the feeling of excitement and playfullness. Nurture the activities that make you happy. Don’t think about what will be the outcome, just absorb yourselves in the activities. Nurture that happy feeling. You will attract more happiness into your life, the more you allow yourself to go where the energy flows. Why go against your own energy?

It all comes down to your willingness to lisen’t to your heart. To lisen’t to your own truth, your own voice. Because it’s you that have to follow your flow, don’t follow other peoples definition of flow, or your own definition. When you try to make a definition, it’s your mental control that tries to make things more settled. It want to settle. That’s what we are actually up against, our need for settlement. And why do we need settlement? because we feel fear.

Sometimes we ignore this heavy feeling, when we go against our own flow, our own life force. Because we get frightened of going with the stream. You have to flow. But most of us don’t like to flow, to let go of our perceptions. We get so frightened of this force, because it’s actually a force. So we fight it. But the force of our deepest desires, of our heart can’t be ignored for good. At some point it will drag you down this river. But that’s only if you have totally ignored your own inner guidance, your inner voice. Because if you are used to settle in that heaviness, you can’t feel the energies, you can’t feel your heart. You have closed your heart down, and you have to be forced out of your comfort zone.

To follow your flow you have to stay open to all possibilities, and that can be hard work to start with, because we are used to settle the energy all the time. Very often we lie to ourselves, we say “oh, I’am so happy with what I’am doing here”, even though we are not. Or we say, “of course there is a lot of boring stuff, but that’s life. Isen’t it”? Honestly?

When something is boring it’s actually a sign that we are not in the flow, we are resistent to being in the flow.

I more and more come to this conclusion that it’s something to do with the heart. The heart is not interested in settling into something, and then stick to that, even though you are bored to death. The heart is not interested in hard work. The heart is not serious. The heart are not interested in being clever and skillful. The heart is only interested in love. To love and be happy. The feeling of being light or heavy is coming from the heart. It’s a kind of heart language. It’s not interested in having status in society. It’s not interested in putting things in boxes, and labeling things. It’s only interested in how it feels. And wow, isen’t it so……you can do all the right choices seen from the outside, but if it doesn’t feel right, then it doesn’t matter. So to really lisen’t to your feelings, it’s the key to come into your flow.

Not other peoples definition of happiness and success, but your own.

So maybe that’s why we have a difficult time, being in flow? because very often the heart want something entirely different from our ego. From our mind. It will not accept that you are lying to yourself, it doesn’t accept pride, or status or being afraid of what other people might think.

So if you are a person, who never really has been fitting into a category, if you have been drifting, flowting, doing things just because it made you feel good. It might be you have an open heart.

But it’s not easy, because other people, the society might not like your way of living. Why? Because it goes against the norm. It makes other people uncomfortable.

We have learned to shut down our hearts, to not lisen’t to our feelings. We live in a society that loves hard working skill full people who are bored to death. Fear is the weapon.

That’s why we think it’s bad to change direction, to be open to all possibilities, to lisen’t to your own feelings and following your own guidance. To live the life as you want it, to be happy and feel alive. To burst with energy, excitement and love. Can you tame such people? No. You can’t frighten free people.

You can only be in flow, if you lisen't to your own feelings, and takes action on what you feel is right. Yes, it might change, like the wind, like the waves. But it’s only on the surface, underneath in the depth is your own heart who knows, that’s your captain. The ripples on the surface is the captains messages. The messages from the heart, for you to follow. You have to follow your feelings, without seeing the whole picture. You just take one step of the time, following your feelings of joy, excitement and happiness and trust that the direction will be shown to you bit by bit.

You might think it has nothing to do with creativity or being an artist. But if you are not free, you can’t really create.

That’s my experience.

Hope you are getting real out there, in life as in art. Hope you will act on your urges, everything is about how you feel. Don’t compromise on that.

Have a lovely day :-))

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

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video
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