A friend told me about a dream she had…….In the dream she saw me holding a diamond shape between my hands, really focusing on that act. The shape was glowing with a red light. There was a lot going on around me, but all my focus was on me holding that diamond shape.

I was laughing, because it is exactly where I’am at. I see it as me holding my flow. Because it’s all I’am doing. The only thing that matters to me is holding that flow. It’s to substain that feeling of aliveness.

How do yo substain the flow. ? Hold your flow.

If your only aim is to hold that flow, your energies will get higher and higher, more and more aligned with all that you are. You will begin to operate from within. You will act from your inner knowledge and guidance. So hold your flow. Your flow is the feeling of being alive. It’s the feeling of being vibrantly alive. It’s the feeling of endless possibilities, and no fear.

What actions makes you feel alive? What do you really want? Ask yourself these questions. Because your flow is not mine flow……..What makes me feel alive, is proberly not the same for you. Find your own path. Without looking for outer validation. Without caring about what other people does, or thinks. Don’t do your actions to please others. Do what makes you feel alive. Go for that feeling. It’s not being fine or okay. It’s being ruthlessly honest about what you want, and what really matters for you.

Then you will start glowing from within. Nothing can stop you, when you don’t operate from fear.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Process. Diamond shape. Hexagon. 2020

For me there is no choice. It’s about being alive or death. I choose to be alive. For many years I was in between, half death half alive. In between. Just living, doing what I thought I had to do, trying to get by as an artist. Buying into all the rules about being an artist. Giving my power away. Not really daring to stand up, to step out of the shadows.

I thought I would be happy if I had success as an artist, if I could sell my works. Being in the right galleries or museums. I didn’t really realize what success was for me….what made my heart beat stronger. What made me feel empowered and free.

A lot of outer circumstances…shaked med alive. I was in a kind of roller coaster of events…..that forced me to reinvent everything in my life. I had a spiritual awakening

Now it’s all about being alive. All about love. All about being me. I can’t just be satisfied with being okay, and getting by. Nothing can tempt me, if the feeling is not right. I have been there, long enough….and so have you….maybe?

My art praxis has totally changed. I’am not so interested in just get my works to be exhibited….I’am not so interested in the right places, the art places. Nothing wrong with galleries, and museums…but I just don’t get so excited about these places.

I’am not interested in struggling, and making it so hard. Struggling to get recognition. No, that energy is too hard, too forced, it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel good.

The flow energy is strong, but very gentle and light. It’s easy going, and full of fun, play and adventures. It’s loving and free. You do what is easy, and fels right. You don’t plan everything, every little detail.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Process. Diamond shape. Hexagon. Drawings. 2020

No, you let things be open…open so you can be fully present to play…..and go with the flow….you have to make room for the flow to expand.

I really get into my flow, when I’am building, playing and experimenting with a lot of different materials, just playing with all the possibilities. Creating and decreating. Lately I have moved my art praxis out of my studio….taking my materials outdoor. I go to the forrest , or the city. Making art in public. It’s fun to do art in other places than in the studio or in exhibition places. It’s fun to play outside, speaking with bypasses. Feeling alive. Because it’s so new and fresh. You don’t know what will happen. How people will react. How you can create in the new surroundings. You are out of your comfort zone. It’s an adventure.

It really makes me feel alive. Sometimes other people or artists are joining me. I like to play and build with others…..to see what happens…how can we interact?

It’s fun to be spontanuous, to not have everything planned. It’s all about the energy, the feeling. You know when you get there, nothing else matters really.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Process. Building in public. Roskilde Cathedral. 2020.

So how do you hold that flow. That aliveness? To hold it, you have to let go of everything that is keeping you small and limited.

You have to let go of fear and doubt. You have to let go of not being good enough. You have to let go of what you thought you can or cannot do. You can’t be in flow, or feeling alive if you have fear.

In my experience what happens in the flow, is that everything in you, not alligned with that conciousness will come up. I regulary go through purging. I don’t resist when emotions are getting triggered, I just accept them, or express them…through rage or crying. I know I just have to embrace the feelings so that I can go back in the flow.

Marie J.Engelsvold. Process.Building in studio. 2019

Go even higher. But the purging of emotions is also part of being alive.

I mean you are truely not half dead in that state. You expand. In the acceptance of all your feeelings, in the acceptance of all of yourself. You are not afraid of any feeling or emotion.

When you are in fear, when you go around half dead, thinking everything is okay…you resist feeling your emotions. You close yourself from feeling anything. You numb yourself. Then you are operating from the mindstate….where everything is about control.

You can’t be in flow operating from the mind state. That’s not possible.

If you numb yourself from feeling, how can you feel alive? You can think how it feels to be alive. You can think how you think it feels to be alive. And you can act acording to what you think will make you feel alive. But it doesn’t make you feel alive. You can’t really feel, when you want to control what to feel.

Marie J.Engelsvold. “Trophy of self love”. 100 x 70 cm. Acrylic paint on paper. 2019.

So coming back to holding the flow. It’s to feeling alive. It’s to connect with your feelings. What do you really want. Not what you think you want, or what other people wants…but what you want. Go within. What actions, what situations makes you feel alive. Really glowing. Really vibrating.

It’s to stop struggling, and instead go for fun. It’s where you feel light, and free.

It’s to love yourself, so much that you don’t do anything that makes you feel just okay. That makes you settle for less than what makes you glow. What you really deserve. Don’t settle for less.

Hope you enjoyed this post. Have a very nice day. :-)

I’am sharing this information to you freely, from my own experiences. Hope you can use it in your own process. Any donation, is deeply appreciated. :-)

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Turtorials and tips
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psycological aspects
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turtorials
- Apr 6, 2019 How to start your drawing praxis.
video
- May 15, 2019 How to take your drawings, to the next level.
- Apr 30, 2019 Be bold, let your light out.
- Apr 1, 2019 How embracing all parts of you, will help you in your art making.
- Mar 8, 2019 What to do when you are stucked in the creative process??
- Feb 20, 2019 Don’t resist the moment. Live your dream.
- Feb 10, 2019 Why are we so hard on ourselves?
- Feb 1, 2019 It's okay to say NO.